Porcelain Demon
by AbsoluteAnarchy
Summary: To be accepted into a gang, Deidara must commit his first crime; theft. But why in the name of sanity does he choose to swipe a cursed doll? Evil is unleashed, and Deidara realizes that he may have stolen a little more than he bargained for. The consequences are painfully bittersweet... WARNING: SasoDei & other Akatsuki pairings. Don't like? Don't read. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

Boredom does strange things to you when you're young.

Sometimes it causes you to become despondent or lose your temper.

'Come on, Deidara.'

Sometimes it encourages you to do something more productive with your life.

'Dude, don't be a fucking pussy.'

And sometimes it lures you into doing something that's just plain stupid.

'Dei, we're waiting for you. Are you helping us break in or not?'

At the moment, Deidara was battling against the third option. He wasn't a criminal and he wasn't that desperate for entertainment, yet he found himself being goaded into breaking an entry.

The property was a small house on a hill, owned by an old woman, and it was rumoured that she collected a variety of rare objects, some of which were said to be unlucky. Her name was Chiyo, and many of the neighbours assumed that she practised witchcraft. It was hardly surprising; her hobby of collecting was very sinister, and she wasn't the friendliest person in the world.

Deidara had never believed in magic or sorcery or anything of the sort; such things existed only in Harry Potter. Nevertheless, he shivered when he saw a human skull and a faceless voodoo doll perched on her windowsill.

'Live a little, Deidara. If you want to join us, you must participate.'

He turned to the leader of their gang, the one who had proposed the idea in the first place.

His name was Pein, a fairly tall, strapping lad with an addiction to piercings and a stern expression. It was no surprise that he had taken the position of top dog; he had a cold aura about him, and he had actually put people in hospital before. You didn't want to piss him off. Or mention his hair colour. Or walk in front of him. Or correct his grammar; the poor nerd in English hadn't lasted very long.

His only Kryptonite came in the form of his girlfriend, Konan. She was softer, more approachable, and less violent than he was. Save for the piercings, it could be argued that she was his opposite.

The one thing that unified them was the fact that they held a strong dislike for the rules.

In fact, they all did.

Hidan had run away from home to follow the almighty Jashin, Kakuzu sold fake video game consoles, Itachi was outright disobedient towards his family, Kisame claimed to have committed murder, and there were rumours that Zetsu practised cannibalism (the scary thing was that he didn't deny it).

Being the new guy, Deidara was only just getting into the swing of things. The most heinous crime he had ever committed was stealing an extra cookie from the cookie jar, and he still felt guilty.

'Look, it's nearly 11,' said Itachi, checking his watch, which he had likely pilfered from his father. 'I haven't got all night. Either man up, or go back to stealing biscuits.'

Deidara glared at him, flicking his blonde hair in exasperation. The stupid Uchiha always doubted his abilities. 'Fine, un! I'm game-'

Hidan grinned. 'That's the spirit!' he yelled, slapping Deidara on the back in friendly fashion. 'No reason to piss yourself, mate; we'll be right behind you.'

'And if she wakes up, we run,' said Kisame, simply. He was now making his way up the hill; being the tallest and the strongest, he usually went first. If his stature didn't frighten the victim, his appearance definitely would; his skin was completely blue, which he claimed was the result of a birth defect. He carried with him a sort of crowbar, iron and wrapped in linen. The thing was huge and no one knew where he had found it. All they knew was that he referred to it as Samehada.

One by one, the teenagers followed him, Deidara dropping to the back of the line. He wasn't particularly sporty, after all, and the hill was very steep. P.E. had also been his last lesson that day, and basketball under Might Guy's guidance was enough to exhaust anyone.

Eventually they reached the dreaded building. Itachi sidled up to one of the windows and used one slender, pale hand to brush away the thick layer of dust. He looked at his fingers and grimaced. Obviously Chiyo wasn't a big fan of cleaning.

Pein cleared his throat. 'Is she in?'

'Not that I can tell,' murmured Itachi, peering inside the dark abode. He scanned the area. 'If she is, she's definitely sleeping, so we have little to worry about...'

'Very well,' said Pein. 'You all know what to do. Get inside and find something valuable.'

Hidan laughed. 'How about a game?'

This caught everyone's attention. As childish as it seemed, they did like to play games. It usually involved stealing, graffiti, and other illegal actions, but a game was a game, wasn't it?

Seeing their excitement, Hidan continued, 'Yeah, whoever gets the most expensive-looking piece of kit, wins.'

Everyone nodded in agreement. Deidara was the only one to hesitate. He loved to have fun, yes, but somehow games didn't seem right given the circumstances. He shook his head. This was his chance to be badass, and if he wanted to join the group then he would have to play by their rules.

Kisame raised Samehada, intending to shatter one of the windows.

Deidara looked taken aback. 'We're just gonna break it, un?'

'How else will we get in, imbecile?' muttered Itachi. He shot the newbie a venomous look.

Deidara curled his upper lip in disgust and turned his head away, but he couldn't stop himself from blushing out of embarrassment.

Seconds later, a loud crash was heard as the glass broke. Fragments of the material were littered everywhere.

Kisame then, quite simply, walked in.

The window was quite large and low, so this proved easy, and soon the others had followed him. Deidara, as usual, tagged along at the rear.

Inside was even dustier than outside, if that were possible. The entire place was littered with shelves, upon which sat numerous charms and trinkets; a stuffed raven, a jar with dead frog inside it, a mannequin's left arm, a jewellery box, a paper doll, and several other suspicious things.

Deidara's eyes travelled all over the place, eager to absorb everything, and for a brief moment he forgot his purpose. Everything was just so interesting, more so than a museum, and there was something new wherever you looked.

Pein grunted and reached out to pick up a broach. It had a cameo of a woman on the front, framed by an intricate golden pattern and several precious gems. It looked to be very old indeed and would no doubt fetch a very impressive sum of money. Then, just like that, he stuffed it into his pocket.

This was the signal to begin.

The teenagers instantly scattered, each of them eager to nab a prize.

Itachi and Konan headed to the jewellery box; a very wise move considering the contents. Kisame wandered off towards the back, no doubt looking for something a little less generic and more unorthodox. Zetsu was studying the stuffed animal collection, and Kakuzu had begun to paw through a stack of books.

Hidan had opened one of the jars and was currently poking the gross fleshy thing floating within.

Deidara stood perfectly still. He couldn't believe what he was witnessing. A band of thieves were robbing a hapless old woman in the middle of the night, and none of them seemed to give a single fuck! Furthermore, he was helping them!

'Hey, Deidara, check this out.'

He turned to see Hidan. The Jashinist was grinning from ear to ear. He had moved his hand to one of the larger tanks and was foolishly patting one of the...well; Deidara wasn't entirely sure what it was. It appeared to be suffering from a small seizure though.

'Hidan, that's disgusting, un.'

'I know, but it waves its feelers when I poke it.'

'And that's...cool?'

'Yeah, it's cool. It's fucking awesome.'

Deidara sighed heavily. He gave the squidgy thing a sympathetic look; even though it had no face, it didn't look very happy. Slowly, he looked away from the scene. As much as he wanted Hidan to stop tormenting it, he still needed to get busy; he had come here to steal, and steal he shall.

He drifted through the rows of shelves but nothing caught his eye. He had always been rather picky and indecisive when it came to shopping. He felt a pang of guilt; he wasn't going to pay for any of this, and yet he had the nerve to call it shopping? Great, he had been in the gang for five minutes and already he was losing it.

There were several crystals that looked tempting, and a lovely Tiger's Eye necklace, but he decided against them. They were too simple and too common. No, he wanted something enchanting, something odd, something extraordinary and beautiful; a truly exquisite piece of art. That's what he wanted.

But he couldn't find anything.

After another twenty minutes, he groaned irritably and stretched his arms above his head. In doing so, he ended up disturbing a low-hanging spider web, the insect darting out and crawling up to his shoulder. Its spindly legs made his skin crawl.

Startled, he cried out and hurriedly flicked his hands in all directions. Then he bumped into the nearest shelf, tipping over one of the jars and causing it to smash on the floor. The squelchy thing inside flopped about for a while before rolling under a loose floorboard, leaving a sort of trail as it went.

Mildly grossed out, Deidara stumbled back, hitting the wall behind him.

It caved in and he gave a muffled shriek as he fell backwards into another compartment.

He coughed violently due to the clouds of dust that surrounded him and waved his hands to clear the area. Then he looked up.

His jaw dropped slightly.

In that single moment, he knew what he had come in for.

It had been placed upon a sort of podium, covered by a large glass case. It reminded Deidara of a cheap fortune-telling machine, the kind you found at the carnival.

This thing certainly wasn't cheap though.

In fact, it was the most gorgeous porcelain doll he had ever seen and, unlike the rest of the room, there was not a single speck of dust anywhere near it. It looked brand-new.

Apparently Chiyo did care enough to clean certain things.

Mesmerised, he stood and wandered up to it, placing a greedy hand on the glass. He longed to touch it.

It had been crafted to resemble a young boy, almost life-sized, and a little younger than himself. The detail was extraordinary.

He had a somewhat rounded face shape but this didn't hinder his appeal. On the contrary, it somehow increased his charm. It made him seem playful and innocent, two qualities Deidara found it difficult to resist.

He had a short mop of crimson hair, the red curls descending to just below his ears and brushing his eyebrows. It seemed far too good to be synthetic; after all, what kind of material was that soft and vivid? Nothing like that could ever be purchased in a shop.

And the eyes…oh those eyes...

Deidara bit his bottom lip.

They were large, shiny, mocha in colour, and peered out from ludicrously long eyelashes. They seemed to be permanently set in bedroom mode, and were almost…suggestive? It was weirdly pleasing; this being was childlike in every other way, yet the eyes were so seductive and mischievous, as if they held something altogether darker.

All in all, everything about him was utterly flawless; from his clear, milky skin, and perfect lips, to the miniature Victorian outfit he was wearing.

As if in a trance, Deidara reached out and lifted the glass away. He then brought the doll into his arms, sitting on the floor and cradling it close to his chest. It was light and comfortable to hold.

A warm smile spread across his face, though he could not think why. He just had the sudden urge to laugh and sing. He wanted to dance and giggle, and prance around without any clothes on. He felt the colour rush to his cheeks. Alright, perhaps that was taking it a little too far, but he still felt absolutely delighted for some reason.

He stroked the doll's rosy cheek and marvelled at how smooth the surface was. It was like silk. He sort of wanted to give it a hug.

Whoever had made this figure had been very skilled.

He turned it over, hoping to find some sort of name or logo that would tell him the creator's identity.

But he found nothing.

Nothing, that is, but a short inscription on the back of the neck. It was very small and slightly marred, making it hard to decipher.

All he could make out was a single word.

_Noroi_

He scowled. Though his school wholeheartedly encouraged the learning of languages, he had never taken an interest. The only ones he had ever had the option to learn were Spanish and French, and this word was definitely not of French or Spanish origin. Not as far as he knew, anyway. No, this word sounded Japanese or Chinese, or maybe even Korean? Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't English.

'Hurry up! We're waiting for you, fucker!'

Deidara blocked out Hidan's voice and trailed his thumb over the word again, as though that would help him understand it better.

Suddenly, movement was heard from upstairs and he snapped back to reality. He looked up and gulped; footsteps could be heard, along with the tap of a walking stick. The vibrations resulted in more dust falling from the ceiling.

'Get out! Get out of my house!' shrieked a voice.

It was Chiyo. The old woman had finally awoken from her slumber.

'Leg it!' barked Pein.

The teenagers all made a dash for the window, their arms laden with stolen treasures and glittering riches.

Panicking, Deidara also made a break for it, taking the doll with him. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest and he could barely breathe. The shelves of knickknacks had suddenly transformed into an impossible maze and the air had become that much hotter and thicker.

By the time he reached the exit, Chiyo was upon him. She grabbed hold of his wrist and yanked him back inside the building. Her grip was powerful despite her age, and Deidara cried out in both pain and terror.

He braced himself, ready to be scolded, or worse, beaten.

But as soon as Chiyo saw the redheaded doll pressed against his chest, she paused.

Then she simply let him go.

Deidara was stunned.

She had caught him stealing; why wasn't she beating the crap out of him? Why wasn't she lunging for the nearest phone to call the police? Why, above all else, wasn't she trying to take the doll back?

Tears welled in her misty eyes, the corners of which crinkled as though she were about to cry. 'I'm…so sorry,' she whispered. 'You're so young…'

Deidara has no idea how to respond to that. What the fuck was she going on about?

It didn't make any sense.

'Deidara! Deidara, are you alright? Hurry up, honey!'

The faint voice of a concerned Konan drifted through the window.

Whatever. He had no more time to think things over; he needed to leave. He gave Chiyo one last glance before hopping over the windowsill, the doll still held tightly in his clutches. Its red hair bounced up and down with the movement and the lacy ruffles of its jacket fluttered in the night air.

As he looked back over his shoulder, he saw Chiyo watching him. She grew smaller and smaller with distance down the hill, until she was merely a blur, and then nothing at all.

He came to a stop at the foot of the hill, out of breath and rattled beyond belief. He keeled over, panting heavily.

Then he realised something. Frantically, he searched the doll. The thought of it getting scratched or broken was unbearable. In fact, his concern for the model completely eclipsed the pain of his own injuries; he had scratched his calf on the sharp edge of the windowsill.

He was oblivious to the number of odd looks he was receiving.

'Dude, what the hell?' said Hidan, giving the doll a wary glance. 'You finally get out of there and all you can bring with you is a sex toy?'

Now, ordinarily Deidara would have taken this insult quietly, so as to avoid further humiliation. After all, he wouldn't want to make himself look like a fool. At most he would blush and mutter something rude. But this particular comment wasn't directed at him; it was directed at his porcelain beauty and for some unknown reason, this made him furious.

'Shut the hell up, you ignorant bastard, un!' he hissed.

The group fell into a stunned silence. Even Itachi raised an eyebrow at the little outburst.

Never before had they seen Deidara act so aggressively.

Hidan stared at the blonde with wide eyes, blinking every now and then. Then he broke into a broad grin. 'I taught you well, fucker!' he said, ruffling Deidara's hair a little. 'Don't take shit from no one, buddy. I'm fucking proud of ya.'

This encouraged everyone else to come out of their awkward stupor, and they all began to congratulate Deidara on his first successful theft. Well, all except Itachi; he remained apathetic.

Pein gave his approval with a single nod. 'Well done,' he said, simply. 'Consider yourself one of us.'

Hidan gave an insane cackle and draped one of his arms over Deidara's shoulders. He moved to do the same to Kakuzu with his other arm, but the miser blocked it with a testy; 'Do it and it comes off.'

Hidan jerked his arm back and kissed his teeth in annoyance. 'Fine,' he said, turning back Deidara. 'Just me and you in the bro club, eh?'

Deidara smiled and nodded. He liked the feeling of acceptance. Itachi could send him as many dirty looks as he wanted; he didn't care anymore. He had won his place, he had his doll.

Wait a moment.

He scowled.

Why did the doll play such a big part in making him happy? True, it did seem valuable, and it was nice to look at, but he had only just obtained it. Why did he already feel so attached to it? It wasn't as if he had owned it for years. He had owned it for ten minutes.

And what did Noroi mean? He would have to Google it when he got home.

All these unanswerable questions were still floating around inside his head as he followed the others to the nearest takeaway shop. It turned out that Kisame had won the game with a jewel-encrusted tiara. Fortunately, he was one of the nicer guys, so he offered to buy everyone pizza as a form of celebration.

The place was almost empty. The people at the counter seemed so pleased to finally have customers that they didn't give a shit if one of them was holding a crowbar.

Deidara sat next to the window, looking out at the full moon. His doll was propped up beside him in a seat of its own.

As he bit into his slice of Hawaiian pizza, he couldn't help but wonder about the name of the figure. Did it even have one? Or would he have to give it one? Maybe it was part of the small inscription on the back of its neck…

'That thing is fucking creepy, dude,' said Hidan, shamelessly littering crumbs everywhere as he spoke. 'You gonna burn it or what?'

'Absolutely not, un,' said Deidara, running his fingers through the soft, red locks. 'It's too good to burn. I'm gonna keep it.'

'Where?'

'In my room-'

'Fuck that! No way will you be able to sleep with that son of a bitch staring at you.'

'I think it's cute, hm...'

'It looks like a collector's item,' interjected Kakuzu. He leaned over, using an elbow to prop himself up. 'If that's the case, I'll pay a pretty penny for it.'

Deidara held the doll closer to him, suddenly very protective. 'No, un.'

'Why not-'

'Leave it, Kakuzu,' said Itachi. He had asked for sweets instead of pizza and, because Kisame had a soft spot for him, he was now happy chewing away at a couple of strawberry laces. He basically lived on sugar. 'If he can't get any real friends, at least let him have a plastic one-'

'Porcelain, un!' hissed Deidara, indignantly.

Itachi gave him a sidelong glance, a strawberry lace hanging out of his mouth. 'Do I look like I give a crap?'

'Shut up-'

'Everyone, calm the fuck down!' interrupted Pein. 'Listen to yourselves! You're arguing over a toy! If Deidara wants to keep it, it's up to him. End of discussion.'

The teens grumbled under their breath but said no more about it. The last thing they wanted was to rub Pein the wrong way. Eventually Konan shifted the subject to homework, none of which anyone had completed. None of them gave a flying fuck about light refraction and telescopes.

Deidara sat with the doll on his lap, listening to the discussion. He whispered softly to it, like a child would. 'Don't worry, hm. I won't get rid of you.'

The figure simply stared back at him.

But, as Deidara turned to join in conversation, something flashed across its glossy brown eyes.

* * *

_I'm a horror fanatic; it needed to be done, man. XD I have quite a few ideas for this, and I really do hope you guys like them. :)_

_Sasori really does make a cute doll, but poor Dei shouldn't judge on appearances. XD_

_Reviews are always appreciated, but no flames please. Love you all, and I hope you have a lovely day/night. :3_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

In Deidara's book, the inventor of cookies deserved a gold medal.

Having arrived home at around midnight, he had stolen five portions of chocolate chip goodness and smuggled them away to his bedroom.

It had been a difficult task; the keys had jangled loudly and his younger sister, Ino, had left her toys scattered all over the place. Unfortunately this included her (rather extensive) Lego collection, and he had stepped on several Lego bricks, along with a Lego man.

It had taken all of his willpower not to scream.

At least now he had a nice food reserve to keep him happy whilst watching cat videos.

All was well in the house of Iwa.

And homework? Fuck that.

He tore his gaze from his laptop and looked over at the doll on his bed. He had placed it next to one of his throw pillows and it leaned a little to the right, but that somehow made it seem cuter. It's beautiful, heavy-lidded brown eyes made it seem so dreamy, and it's lips were set in a sleepy smile. It looked very picturesque just sitting there, like a Christmas card from your grandmother.

Unable to resist, he stood from his desk and walked over to it, picking it up again.

How could Hidan have suggested burning something so adorable? Granted, the guy was nuts, but surely even he could see that it was just too cute for that...

Deidara scowled and turned the figurine over, his eyes once again landing its pale neck. The inscription was still there, though in the light of the bedroom it seemed a little clearer, and, if he squinted, he could make out a second word.

_Sasori_.

That had to be its name; it started with a capital letter, and he had never heard of a city called "Sasori" either.

He brought the doll over to his laptop, setting it down next to his pencil sharpener. Its head tilted to the side, it's eyes shining with, what looked like, curiosity. It seemed to be asking what he was doing.

'I just need to know more about you, hm,' muttered Deidara, taking hold of the mouse and creating a second tab.

He opened Google and set to work, his fingers dancing across the keyboard as he typed in the word "Noroi".

The result sent a few shivers up his spine.

_Curse_.

He sent the doll a wary glance, half-expecting it to growl at him and whip out a chainsaw. It didn't. It just sat there, staring at him and smiling.

Deidara could see his own reflection in its eyes and for a brief moment he was mesmerised, like a kid looking into a tropical fish tank.

Then he shook his head and turned back to the computer.

He still didn't believe in curses or voodoo, or black magic. All of it was bullshit as far as he was concerned; he felt ashamed that he had even considered the notion.

Dolls and chainsaws...

He grunted and typed in the second, newly-discovered, word: "Sasori".

_Scorpion_.

Well at least it had a badass name. He chuckled; the doll was so sweet and loveable, and yet it shared its title with a deadly, poisonous insect. It was a ridiculous combo, like naming a kitten Doom-bringer or having a dinosaur called Fluffy.

He leaned back in his chair, spinning and staring at the ceiling. He adored spinning chairs; they were just so fun to glide around on.

'Sasori...Sasori...Sa-so-ri,' he repeated, the syllables flicking off his tongue with minimal effort.

It sounded nice, especially the pronunciation of the "R".

He could see himself getting used to it pretty quickly. He'd just have to hide it from Ino; her tiny hands were actually quite destructive and she had a reputation for breaking things.

Sighing, he shut his laptop and glanced at the clock on the far wall, groaning when he realised that it was half past midnight. He knew he needed to get some sleep; he had school in the morning, and he didn't want to start slacking off too much, lest his mother catch on.

He stood up and stretched his arms before making his way to the bathroom. Hygiene was something he felt strongly about and he refused to go to bed without a shower. After all, he had been running through Chiyo's house and that meant he was probably covered in dust and webs and various other icky things.

'Maybe that's why she's so depressed,' he whispered to himself, grabbing his iPod and exiting the room. 'I would be too if I lived in a dust bunny, un...'

As he walked, he scrolled through his songs.

It had become a habit for him to listen to music in the shower; he'd place the iPod on the floor, so as to avoid moisture. Now, seeing as he was the only one awake, he could indulge in a few guilty pleasures.

Namely, _Wiggle_ by Jason Derulo.

In fact, he was still humming to himself as he left the bathroom. His hair was pulled up into a blue shower cap and he had a white towel wrapped around his slim waist.

'Patty cake, patty cake, with no hands, un,' he sang softly, dumping his cap and collecting his pyjamas from the chest of drawers by his bed. His long hair cascaded down his back. 'Got me in this club making wedding plans...'

He moved his hips from side to side, letting his towel slip off, and he unfolded his clothes. 'Hot damn it, your booty like two planets, hm...'

He trailed off and frowned.

Something didn't feel entirely right. Slowly, instinctively, he turned towards his desk.

Sasori was still sitting there, completely unchanged, but the odd thing was that his expression seemed to have a different meaning.

Deidara wasn't sure if it was just a matter of the viewing angle or not, but now the doll's soothing smile looked more like a smirk. It's eyes seemed darker and more intense, as though it were mid-way between amusement and arousal.

Deidara flushed and covered himself with his hands, suddenly quite self-conscious.

It appeared to be scrutinising him.

Pursing his lips, he stalked over and scooped up the figurine into his arms. Then he placed it in the closet and gave it a sharp look of disapproval before shutting the door.

He didn't know why it had bothered him so much, or why he had locked it away. It was an inanimate object, like a lampshade or a teddy bear, and yet he didn't want it to see him naked.

Perhaps he just felt uncomfortable having a pair of eyes on him, even if those eyes were fashioned out of glass. Brushing it off, he turned away from the cupboard and bent over to pull up his pyjama trousers. Just as they were half-way up his thighs he heard a creaking sound.

Confused, he turned to see the cupboard door had swung open a few inches.

One of the doll's eyes could be seen, hidden within the shadows and peering out.

It was watching him.

Frightened, the blonde threw himself at the door and leant against it for an extra five minutes. Then he stood up straight and glared at the wood, his cheeks a bright crimson.

'You can come out when I'm dressed, hm. '

The door didn't move.

'That's what I thought,' muttered Deidara, bending over once more.

Okay, that had been slightly creepy; the thing had been staring at his ass for crying out loud! At least it wasn't alive; if it were, Deidara's embarrassment would have increased tenfold. The only thing worse than a toy seeing you naked, was another person seeing you naked.

Once fully dressed, he opened the cupboard once more and lifted Sasori out. It was still as light as a feather.

Deidara smiled and climbed into bed, holding the figure close to his chest and stroking its soft, red locks. It had been so long since had taken a toy to bed, but he felt as though he needed to with this one.

Sasori was staring up at him in such an enchanting way.

And those large, oval eyes were truly odd. They just seemed to shift between emotions that a doll could not possibly have. It looked somewhat coy now, maybe even a little apologetic for peeping. Deidara felt his lips curve into a grin and he sighed happily, burying his nose in his pillow.

'Goodnight, Sasori, hm,' he whispered.

Then he found himself giggling a little.

Holding the doll just made him feel so content, so alive and so pleased with his current position in life. It gave him the same comfort and pleasure that you or I would get from a bar of chocolate, or a bowl of fresh strawberries and cream.

A sweet, safe comfort.

'Curse, my ass, hm,' he mumbled, drowsily.

As he drifted off to sleep, a vague notion drifted into his head.

What would he tell his mother? He couldn't say that he had stolen it; she'd freak out. He could say it was a gift, but from who? Maybe Konan? She seemed nice enough to give presents so that wouldn't be that suspicious, right?

He'd figure something out.

Eventually.

Right now he had some dreaming to do, and Sasori's hair smelled nice...

* * *

_Sassy is such a perverted doll. XD I hope you liked it; Dei shall go to school next chappie. :3_

_Reviews are always appreciated; it means a lot. See ya soon; I love ya! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

Siblings were a pain in the backside.

Deidara pressed his weight against the door of his room, the wood thumping against him as tiny limbs tried to break in. Frustrated whines could be heard on the other side, along with sniffles and crocodile tears. Despite being an eight-year-old, Ino seemed to possess superhuman strength, and a dogged will to match. She bounced impatiently outside the door, the landing creaking, and her wheat-coloured ponytail swung from side to side.

Having gotten up early, things had been going remarkably well for Deidara. He'd had breakfast, brushed his teeth, and got dressed, all without interruption. He'd even managed to elude his mother.

Then his sister had surfaced, toddling around like a spoilt princess. She'd wandered into his bedroom, seen Sasori, and it had been game over. The doll's girly frills and cutesy appearance had drawn her in like a moth to a flame.

Luckily, Deidara had caught her and nudged her out.

Now she shrieked indignantly. 'Please, please, please! Let me see! I asked nicely!'

Deidara grimaced and splayed his fingers against the wood, giving himself more leverage. 'That doesn't mean I have to give it to you!'

'But that isn't fair! You never let me see anything!'

'That's because you break shit, hm!'

'Ooh! You said a bad word! I'm telling mummy!'

Deidara groaned and threw his head back in despair. He was a teen; swearing was an unspoken requirement. He didn't fully register it anymore; he heard it everyday and swear words rolled off of his tongue like water. He listened as his sister retreated down the stairs, her bare feet making a pitter-patter across the carpet.

Exactly one minute later, he heard the angry, disappointed voice of his mother echo through the building.

'Iwa Deidara! There will be none of that language in my house! You're not at school now, young man!'

Deidara winced and hung his head, his hair falling over his shoulders. Though he couldn't see his parent, her stern tone was enough to put him in his place. He smirked when her heard her next words.

'And Ino, leave your brother alone! You'll break the door hinges! Oh for goodness' sake, you're not even dressed yet! Go upstairs and get ready! Now, or you'll be late for school!'

Deidara stifled a laugh with his palm, his smug snorts filling around the bedroom. Ino didn't know the first rule when it came to parents; by grassing up your brother or sister, you risked your own skin as well. He grinned when he heard the girl climb the stairs in a hissy fit, stomping this time and kicking over a tower of Lego bricks. She stalked towards the bathroom, slamming the door in outright defiance and screaming childishly. Like many her age, she didn't react well to not getting her own way.

Deidara sighed heavily and stood up straight, leaving the door as it was. Smiling at his triumph, he turned back to his desk.

Sasori sat upon it, his cherubic head tilted in a pose of eternal confusion. The light of the morning sun shone through the window, illuminating his hair and making it glow like a bonfire. He looked perfect, right down to the polished buckles of his black booties.

Deidara wandered over and curled a lock of red hair around his index finger. The scarlet tendril felt so soft and lifelike, and it caressed his skin like ribbon.

'I hope you're grateful,' mused Deidara, dipping his hand and collecting a few extra strands of crimson. 'Ino could've eaten you, hm...'

The doll stared up at him, rosy lips set in a buoyant smile.

As Deidara continued, this mellow expression wavered.

'I mean, fleeting beauty is artistic, but...I'd rather keep you, hm.'

Sasori's pupils seemed to darken and pulse beneath the thick veil of his lashes. The change was so quick, so subtle and insignificant, that Deidara failed to notice it. Instead, he began absentmindedly fiddling with the silky ruffles of the doll's collar. A few of them had become crumpled over night; he made a mental note to loosen his grip next time.

Reluctantly, he let go of the material and made his way to the door, collecting his schoolbag on the journey and careless slinging it over his left shoulder.

Then he paused.

If he left Sasori alone, there was no telling what would happen. The thought was too much for him to deal with. What if the doll accidentally fell from his perch and broke? What if a family of moths decided to shack up between the folds of his outfit? What if he spontaneously combusted? What if Ino came home early and decided to play with him?

A shiver of dread danced up and down Deidara's spine as he imagined his sister's clumsy hands grabbing Sasori's cheeks. She'd leave dirty, sticky fingerprints all over the doll's smooth skin! She'd ruin his clothes and plait his hair, and paint him weird colours; he'd be nothing more than a pile of scraps by the end of it!

Deidara chewed his lip, his brow knitted.

His eyes flicked around the room, eventually settling on an old hockey stick bag. It was large and empty, blue with a black stripe, and it sat abandoned in the corner next to his wardrobe. He hadn't used it since it had last been cleaned, which happened to be a long time ago. He'd gone through a sports phase six years back at the age of ten.

It looked just about big enough to hold Sasori...

Without hesitation, Deidara spun around and scooped the doll up into his arms. He then dragged the bag out with his heel and unzipped it, carefully laying Sasori between the flaps. He did so as though the redhead were a newborn child, tucking him in and making sure his cuffs wouldn't get caught.

Then he smiled and zipped the bag up slowly, so as to not jam anything. He gently heaved it onto his right shoulder, took a deep breath, and left the room, making his way downstairs. Entering school with a hockey bag wouldn't be at all suspicious; he'd be dismissed as a club-enthusiast. In reality he hated physical strain, but hopefully no one would notice that contradiction.

He reached the front door, reluctantly allowing his mother to kiss his cheek before he departed.

Lucky the walk to school was a fairly short one and, due to how early it was, there were very few people about. The sun peeked over the rooftops and the sky was overcast, somber and waxen, the colour of a dull blade. It wasn't raining or snowing though, making it a reasonable start.

At least, it _was_ reasonable until Deidara turned a corner at the end of the road. In doing so, he almost collided with something small, shrill, and furry.

It was a dog, a Peke to be exact, and its body looked like cleaning mitt. Around its neck was a pink collar and its legs were short and peppy, hidden beneath a fluffy coat. It scampered around his feet, before coming to an abrupt halt at the side of the pavement. It growled menacingly and yapped at the hockey stick bag, though it seemed too afraid to actually lunge.

Normally Deidara got on fairly well with animals; in this situation he had no idea what to do.

Afraid the creature would bite him or chew the bottom of the bag, he backed up against the wall of the nearest garden. The Peke followed, snarling and nipping at the air. It seemed thoroughly worked-up over something; its haunches were raised and its teeth were bared, as though it were a miniature wolf.

'I'm so dreadfully sorry; she isn't normally like this...'

Deidara looked up to see a middle-aged woman in a fur coat. Her greying hair was rolled into clusters and she wore glittery earrings. She tugged on the Peke's lead, gently guiding the animal away down the path. 'Come on, Maggie, leave the nice boy alone...'

The ball of fur whimpered as it was led away and it strained against the tether, rearing up on its hind legs with its paws flailing. The woman persisted, obviously embarrassed beyond belief, and she apologised profusely as both her and her pet continued down the path. 'I am so sorry! Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! Maggie, calm down, dear!'

Deidara sent her an awkward smile.

'It's okay, un...'

When they were a fair distance away, he immediately shed the hockey bag and peered inside; it hadn't been touched but he still felt obligated to check. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw that the doll remained undamaged. Sasori gazed up at him from between the sides of the zip, his red hair lovingly tousled and his Victorian coat wrapped around his petite body, the ruffles bunched. He was like a caterpillar in a polyester cocoon.

Deidara took a minute to adjust the outfit before closing the bag once more and resuming his trek.

Unfortunately, all the animals of his neighbourhood seemed to have the same philosophy as Maggie.

He came across two cats, a tabby and a calico, both of which he saw on a regular basis. Instead of purring and curling around his legs as they often did, they hissed malignantly. They wrinkled their noses and swiped at nothing, warning him to stay away. The same was true with a few crows, and a particularly bold magpie; they screeched at him and dive-bombed him several times, furiously pecking at the zip of the hockey bag, their little claws scratching the material.

Deidara bowed his head and ran onwards, mindlessly swatting at the air with both hands. His long tresses flew out behind him and the wind stole tears from his eyes. He cursed.

'Fuck off, hm!'

The birds took no notice and his uproar only succeeded in attracting more of the feathered beasts. He tried losing them through the streets of his neighbourhood but to no avail; they were driven by a supernatural force.

By the time he reached the school gates, a total of fifteen minutes late, he'd gathered a decent entourage. It was a surreal sight; a blonde teenager being plagued by a small, fluttering cloud.

Deidara sprinted through the gates as though he had the devil on his tail. He ran towards the main building, his heart hammering in his chest and his lungs bursting. The birds only came to a halt when he entered, most of them swooping upwards and looping back; the odd couple stayed behind for a short time, cawing and wildly flapping against the windows.

Deidara retreated to the far end of the empty reception, glaring at his followers with wide eyes. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was a complete mess, and he could barely breathe. His tie hung loosely around his neck.

'Holy shit,' he panted. 'What the fuck? What the actual fuck?'

One of the crows squawked at him from outside, its sharp talons scratching and clicking against the glass. Its eyes were void and black, and it gesticulated as though it were possessed or being electrocuted. Like all the creatures before it, it seemed desperate to attack him, blinded by hate. Its feathers were ruffled and its wings looked disjointed; the whole image was just plain disturbing, and its cries came from the pits of Hell.

It rattled Deidara.

He fled down the corridor, hissing under his breath. 'You need a fucking exorcist, hm!'

He didn't look back, not even once.

He was too afraid to do so; he could still hear the bird's torturous screams. He felt like a scarecrow, one that goaded pests instead of scaring them away. Did the local animals have something wrong with them? A parasite or a mental defect? That aggression wasn't normal; it was demonic, like something from a horror film! He felt awful now; tired and sweaty. All he could do was be grateful for the fact that there were no witnesses. He was in a gang now; he was supposed to be a rebellious heartthrob, not the town chicken tamer.

He stormed down the corridor, his cheeks beet red. He'd already missed registration so there was no point in visiting his tutor group; he needed to get to his first lesson pronto.

The subject was English, one of the few periods he didn't share with his friends, and it continued until morning break. He made no secret of his arrival; he wasn't in the mood to play it discreet.

He was pissed and he wanted the world to know.

He flounced into the room, abruptly cutting off the lecture that was already taking place. Both the teacher and the students watched, shocked, as he pushed his way to his seat, dumping his schoolbag under his desk.

Yet despite his rage, he still managed to treat the hockey stick bag with uncharacteristic care and attention, lowering it next to his chair as though it were made of nothing but dandelion seeds. It gave him a sense of security to feel it against his legs; he could keep an eye on it that way.

The teacher, Orochimaru, sat at his desk, a pair of sleek glasses on the bridge of his nose and a book in one hand. He was a tall, reedy individual with lanky hair and a lisp. He looked like he belonged in the "Defence Against the Dark Arts" department.

'Don't you have something to say to me, Deidara?' he rasped, his cheeks gaunt and shallow.

Deidara shot him a testy, embarrassed look. 'Sorry for my lateness, sir,' he mumbled, grudgingly.

Orochimaru chuckled, his lips curving into a satisfied simper. 'Excellent,' he said. He turned to the rest of the class. 'Now, please finish the booklet in front of you; I want you to highlight as many literary techniques as possible, with an explanation for each one.'

The students groaned lowly, their bodies slumping forward like severed puppets. They picked up their pens and did as requested, their expressions irritated. Deidara bent over to take his pencil case out of his bag with exaggerated slowness. He honestly didn't care anymore; he was so hot from running that his shirt was starting to stick to his back, and he craved a glass of water.

He looked down to see what he was doing and scowled.

The zip of the hockey stick bag was undone but only partway, creating a tiny crevice; peering out from this gap was a single eye, the iris bole and the sclera a dazzling white. It stared directly up at him. Irked, Deidara hurriedly zipped the hole shut. He'd had enough freaky shit happen to him already; he didn't need a repeat of the night before.

'Quit peeking, hm,' he whispered, scooping up his pencil case.

He straightened up and placed his equipment on his desk. As soon as he turned to the first page of the booklet, he felt his stomach plummet. It was a peculiar sensation, one that sent an unpleasant chill up his spine, and the world seemed to shrink and tilt on its axis.

He looked down, his breath hitching.

The bag had been opened once more, as fast as lightening and as bold as thunder. The doll's eye gazed up at him, wide and crazed. With the rest of Sasori's face hidden, it looked exceedingly creepy. Deidara clenched his jaw and reached down, zipping the bag up for the second time.

Less than a minute later, it was open again.

And Deidara hadn't heard a thing.

By now he was getting frustrated. He growled and dipped his head beneath his desk, his voice hushed and angry. 'Don't screw with me, hm! I've been through enough this morning! Anyway, I saved you from Ino; the least you can do is stay-'

'Deidara, is there something interesting about the underside of your desk?' asked Orochimaru, peering over the top of his book like a hawk.

Deidara shot up quickly, guilt plastered all over his face. He didn't say anything; his mind was too busy trying to come up with an excuse. Orochimaru sighed and made his way over, raising an eyebrow when he noticed the hockey stick bag. It blocked the narrow walkway between the seats.

'...Might Guy told me you hated P.E.'

Deidara kept suspiciously quiet. He screwed his eyes shut, begging for his superior to leave him be. Orochimaru bent down and used his slender fingers to investigate. They crept into the bag like ghostly feelers, the tips brushing Sasori's porcelain cheek.

Surprised, Orochimaru gently clasped the doll and lifted it out, holding it up in full view of the class; it swayed in his grasp, feet dangling innocently.

Predictably, the other students burst into fits of laughter.

Deidara flushed a deep pink.

Orochimaru turned Sasori over in his hands, admiring the pearly skin and delicate stitching. He cracked a grin. 'I didn't know you collected dolls, Deidara...'

The students smothered their giggles with their hands, tittering like a pack of hyenas. It was in that moment that Deidara knew he'd lost a good portion of his popularity points. No matter; he still had his dignity and his killer attitude. 'I don't collect them,' he said, matter-of-factly. Then he faltered in the most ungraceful way possible. 'It's just...uh...'

Orochimaru shook his head in exasperation and returned to the front of the class, cradling Sasori against his chest.

'You can retrieve it after school,' he said, placing the doll on his desk. 'In the meantime, this charming fella will keep me company…'

A snapping sound was heard as the lead of Deidara's pencil broke; he wasn't at all pleased with that outcome. He needed to keep the flame-haired angel as close as possible; he felt as though a piece of his soul had just been wrenched away.

'But-'

'Don't argue with me, Deidara,' said Orochimaru, sliding into his chair. 'Do your work. I'll keep him safe; you have my word...'

Deidara bowed his head, his lips pursed.

He kept glancing upwards for the duration of the lesson, restless beyond measure. The only reason he'd taken Sasori with him was to make sure nothing bad happened and now the doll had been plucked from him anyway. He didn't feel comfortable, even though the object of his affections sat just a few metres away. A large part of him wanted to dive across the desks and make a mad dash for his beloved; he'd owned Sasori for less than a full day and yet the redhead was already more valuable than oxygen. Orochimaru was a kidnapper.

It didn't take Deidara long to decide his plan of action; he'd stage an epic escape, scrambling forward and snatching Sasori from the paws of Snape #2.

Or he could just refuse to do anything.

Yeah, that sounded more favourable.

He folded his arms on his desk, burying his nose in his sleeves. He stared at the printed worksheet in front of him, feeling ashamed of his lack of courage. He'd broken into a house before; he was technically a criminal and yet now he felt powerless. Perhaps things had been different last time. Perhaps Pein's approval had been reason, or Itachi's judgemental scrutiny. Perhaps, deep down, he was still a lowly biscuit thief, a coward.

When the lesson came to an end, he shuffled forlornly to the exit. He still wasn't brave enough to make a move; all he could do was cast Sasori a wistful look and secretly pray for the doll to stand up and tag along. It didn't. Instead it smiled at him, bidding him a fond farewell.

As he entered the hallway, lost in a tide of fellow students, he felt as though he'd lost something very important, something intrinsic.

Retreating to the playground was a difficult decision; he felt strangely numb without Sasori, and, as he warily stepped onto the concrete, he couldn't help but scan the area for birds. The army of the air was nowhere to be seen; the only danger for miles was a plump pigeon nesting in one of the ash trees and it didn't seem at all bothered.

Deidara shot it a suspicious look and went into ninja mode, inching around it.

He jumped when it cooed at him.

'Pussy.'

He turned to see Hidan swaggering over, hands in his pockets. The Jashinist didn't care about his education at all and it was painfully obvious. His blazer was tattered and frayed, with patches and grass stains, and he didn't even own a bag. The rest of the gang followed behind him, each of them breaking at least one uniform rule.

Deidara sent them a timid smile. 'Hey, guys, hm.'

Hidan grinned and draped an arm over his shoulders, squeezing him tightly and ruffling his hair. 'Hey, bro! How's it going? Y'know, I'm surprised you didn't bring that creepy-ass doll to school!'

Deidara laughed nervously, looking very sheepish indeed.

Hidan's grin disappeared. He facepalmed.

'Ah, fuck.'

* * *

The inside of the English classroom was almost vacant.

Orochimaru was the sole occupant; he sat at his desk, marking the booklets that his pupils had completed. He held a red pen in one hand and he would occasionally click his tongue in annoyance, before planting a fat cross on the paper.

'It's like I've taught them nothing,' he mumbled, licking his index finger and flicking to the next page.

His eyes drifted to the confiscated doll, which sat guilelessly next to his pencil pot. It was very sweet, smiling at him with perky lips and chestnut eyes. Its skin was like flawless alabaster and its cheeks were dusted rouge. The outfit was very noble too; it gave the model a regal, haughty air, and the bell-shaped cuffs were fashioned out of lace. Yet somehow, despite this ethereal majesty, the whole thing seemed a tad frosty. The face was set in stone and the eyes were like gilded gates to the underworld, partially covered by an auburn fringe. Orochimaru felt as though he were staring at a rose, one with hidden thorns.

Part of him wondered how Deidara had been able to afford such a treasure, or where he'd purchased it from in the first place.

It looked like something from the Queen's mantelpiece.

Orochimaru shook his head and composed himself, gathering his papers and tapping them against the desk to neaten the pile. Unfortunately, the edges of the sheets were razor-sharp and they sliced through his thumb. The skin split into a nasty paper cut, sending sparks of pain up his arm.

On instinct, Orochimaru yanked his hand away, waving it erratically and hitting the porcelain prince that sat by his side.

Blood was smeared across the doll's milk-white cheek and the ruby droplets slid downwards, staining the once-spotless surface; they surged like rivers of red wine, slowly getting closer and closer to the ruffled cravat...

Orochimaru cursed and snatched a tissue from the box on his desk. He caught the liquid before it went too far, carefully dabbing it away bit by bit, and his panic subsided when he realised the doll wouldn't be discoloured. Damaging the property of a student would definitely put a black mark next to his name. He sighed and stuffed the tissue into his pocket, reminding himself to dispose of it later.

He then reached for the stapler, clumsily knocking the top sheet of paper from the pile. It floated to the floor, settling at the foot his desk.

'What in heaven's name is wrong with me today?' muttered Orochimaru, bending down to retrieve the lost page.

Keeping one hand on his desk for balance, he picked the sheet up and hovered close to the ground, smiling at his own foolishness.

Then his face fell.

He let out a nightmarish scream.

* * *

_I'm so late with these updates, guys. I'm so sorry; college was being a bitch. TTwTT But now it's summer and we're all free! Fuck yea! :DD_

_Why is Orochimaru screaming like a pansy? He shouldn't have spilt blood, that's for sure, and Sasori doesn't like being separated from Dei. XD I hope you all enjoyed! I think I'm getting into this story again; thank you for all the encouragement! I love you guys! X3_

_Have a wonderful day or night, depending where you are on this li'l planet. *Hugs* X3_


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